Moving On
by StevexBuckyx
Summary: Sam cuts Bucky's hair after Bucky has a breakdown sambucky friendship. Rated T for language


This is just a fic about what I want to happen in falcon and winter soldier. Enjoy :)

-0000000-

Bucky looked at himself in the mirror. All he could see was a broken man. All he felt like was a broken man. He was managing to hold himself together for a while, but Steve leaving was the last thing he needed for him to unwind completely.

He thought about holding Steve when he was sick. He thought about his mother, his sisters...god he missed them. He thought about how Steve had basically broken down his door in tears after Sarah died. He thought about all the times he had saved the little punk from street fights he had no hope of winning. He wanted Steve back. He wanted his life back. He wished he was never drafted. He wished he could go home.

Before he knew it tears were falling into the sink below the mirror. He let it all out and broke completely. Bucky fell to his knees and cried into his sleeves.

"Why am I not good enough?" He whispered to himself, "why did he leave...I thought he cared about he."

There was a knock on the bathroom door.

"Are you ok in there?" Sam asked.  
"Yeah I'll be out in a minute," he sniffed.  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yep."  
"Ok, there's some lunch out here if you want it."

When Bucky had heard Sam had left he returned to breaking down. His heart was heavy with pain, guilt and sadness.

After five minutes of this same routine he stood up and washed his face. He took a deep breath. He looked down at his metal arm then up in the mirror at his hair.

"This is why he left...because I'm not me, anymore."

Bucky opened the bathroom door and stumbled into the living room where Sam was sitting.

"Sam."  
"Yeah?" Sam looked up to see Bucky's eyes were bloodshot, "Bucky what's wrong?"  
"I need you to do something for me," he blinked and a tear rolled down his cheek, "I need you to cut my hair."  
"Are you sure you want me to do this?"  
"Please Sam, please."

Sam could see Bucky's hands were shaking. He stood up walked over to the brunette. He grabbed his shaking hands and held them.

"If that's what you want, I'll be happy to."

Bucky pulled his hands away and hugged Sam. He buried his head into his shoulder.

"Thank you," he cried.  
Sam rubbed his hand against Bucky's back, "it's ok...it's ok."

-0-

Sam handed Bucky a mirror.

"You like it?" He asked.

Bucky moved his hand to his now short hair. A tear fell down his cheek onto his lap.

"Bucky?"  
"Thanks Sam," he said as he stood.  
"Do you wanna tell me why you wanted it cut?"

Bucky took a shaky breath.

"When Steve told me he was leaving, I didn't understand why. He told Nat and I multiple times he didn't care for her anymore, but then I realised it was because he couldn't stand the sight of me," he started to cry, "he didn't want to live in a time where I had become this. He broke an almost 90 year old promise because he couldn't live with what happened to me. He blames himself and he's never been tough enough to live with his mistakes let alone be within close proximity of them."  
"Bucky," Sam put a hand on his arm, "you're not a mistake and Steve's a dick. He never deserved you."  
"I wish that was true, but maybe I never deserved him."  
"Don't say that. You are so much more than what happened to you," Sam smiled, "hey how about we go to the bar tonight? I bet the chicks are gonna dig that haircut."  
"Sam," he said softly.  
"Yeah?"  
"But what about Steve?"  
"What about Steve? We can have a good time without him."  
"Do you ever think about why I'm so upset about him leaving?"  
"He's your best friend, of course you'd be upset."  
"No, Sam..." he said softly.  
"Oh...oh," Sam realised, "well, we can go find you a man. I'm not expecting you to get over him quick, but it's a start. I bet the guys will dig that haircut too."

-0-

Sam and Bucky sat at the bar downing shots. A girl had come over and started talking to Sam. Bucky nodded and let her take him to dance.

"Hey," a man took the seat where Sam was once sitting.  
"Hey."  
"I'm Austin."  
"James, nice to meet you."  
"Well James, I've noticed you've denied the advances of quite a few girls who are smoking, so I thought I'd take my shot."  
"And that means?"  
"Can I buy you a drink?" He smiled.

Bucky smiled softly and slightly nodded. He could see Sam giving him the thumbs up from the other end of the room.

When the drinks were poured, Bucky grabbed the glass with his metal arm. Austin looked in wonder.

"If you don't mind me askin', what happened to your arm?"  
"I used to be a soldier. Lost it during service."  
"What war?"  
"Oh um, world war 2."  
"You've gotta be shitting me, you're way too young."  
Bucky hesitated, "h-have you been to the smithsonian?"  
"You know Captain America's friend? Bucky?"  
"Yeah?"  
"That's me, I don't usually tell people though. I'm not too fond of my past."  
"But James and Bucky don't sound anything alike?"  
"My middle name is Buchanan. Steve started calling me that as a joke and it kinda stuck."

Austin could tell he was a bit wary about his past and he was totally cool with it. He used to work for SHIELD and had read the reports. He knew what had happened now he knew who he was, but that didn't affect how he saw him.

"That's so cool!"

After they shared stories, jokes and laughs Austin had kissed Bucky. That night they left the bar together, which Sam didn't mind as he left with another girl.

And you betcha Sam made fun of him for it.

-00000000-

This was fun to write I hope you guys enjoyed :)


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